Creating a point of reference

Where to begin (and why learning mindfulness can be frustrating)

In order to increase our tolerance for sensations for our surroundings and be able to interact with life more fully, we need to establish a reference point. We can safely assume, that as we move through our day, we will not remain balanced, so it is good to have something to fall back on and check in with.

I have found a reference point based on sensations in my body to be the most practical and applicable to day to day life. Whilst practicing mindfulness also increases awareness of what is going on, I have found for a while that there was something missing. The way mindfulness is often taught - albeit also focusing on physical sensation like the breath, to me feels very "head-heavy". This is reflected in the word itself, MINDfulness. We are often told to witness thoughts, as they occur in a non-judgmental way.

Also, I was and am struggling to truly be non-judgmental (and lacking the time to practice that would probably be required to reach such a state), and to apply this in day-to-day small and more critical situations.

Using sensations in our body as a reference point, knowing they are part of our interaction with stimuli from our surroundings, we can develop a wider range of tolerance and the ability to perceive and actually accept situations as they unfold.

Things become less scary. As we practice recovery, by focusing our attention on our physical sensations, we become more confident that we can handle life and its challenges (and for some of us with sensitive nervous systems, this can be going to the supermarket). This means, we do not only notice what is going on in our bodies as a response to the situation unfolding, but we can actually do something about it (rather than being stuck in reactive patterns).

This paradoxically allows us to feel more, not less, as we become capable of centering ourselves.

So how do we begin, practically?

I believe in practicing in tiny, curious, doable shifts. Tiny meaning, they can be done in seconds. Through repetitive practice of centering through attention, breath and physical balance, we give ourselves a stable self that we can fall back on, when we are in a reactive state.

Today's tiny shift is in noticing gravity. One way to explore this is by dropping the jaw, dropping the shoulders, letting the belly become soft and focus on the weight or lightness of your body. We pause, and notice the sensation.