Not being at the hospital for work anymore all day (and night) after the birth of my child was a radical change to my life pace. It changed the relationship to my phone - not for the better. I suddenly found myself spending hours and hours in the bedroom in the dark trapped under a sleeping baby/toddler. Somehow it seemed more "relaxing" to scroll on Instagram or telling myself I was doing "research", than to read books. I was pretty lonely.
The habit of checking my phone spilled into the day. It became an escape, a pacifier of sorts, when I was bored, frustrated or angry. I noticed that I would get irritated with my child from times – as if it was more important to finish replying to a text message than being there with them. I found this even more concerning than my screen time (which was 2-3h a day) - as well as the fact that I was missing my phone and needed (needed!) to know where it was at all times.
Just turning off said phone, using grey scale or locking myself out didn´t work. So I currently own an "analogue" or "dumb" phone, which I use during the day. I have kept my smartphone, mainly for voice notes and banking. My dumb phone can text, call, take photos and give me directions.
The less I use the (smart-)phone, the less frazzled and anxious I feel. I know that my body reacts negatively to using my phone - but this is before I even touch it! I never paid attention to it in this way before, and noticed with surprise after going 48h phone free. I could suddenly feel my jaw, neck and shoulders tense as I was reaching for it - as if to brace for an attack. Imagine doing that 100 times a day, or however many times you pick up your phone.
When you get into a habit of phone checking and -scrolling, it makes being "in your body" harder. Quite literally, because all you use is your hands and fingers. Being engaged in a screen is very "head-heavy". This means you stop noticing what you are doing in the rest of your body, whichin turn makes it more likely to fritter away your time looking at said screen. If however, you start to notice what is going on in your body (such as tensing) as a reaction to a thing (such as a phone), it becomes a little easier to put it down. You break the cycle.
Now, being connected is wonderful. I don´t think we should get rid of our phones, and some jobs require the use of screens. But there is a middle ground. Despite the urge to pick up my phone (the lure is still strong!) I now remind myself time and time again, to check what I am doing in my body - before I look at what anybody else is doing "in my phone". Before I ask an AI for reassurance, I look for steady ground within my body. I try to listen - when my eyes go tired and my head goes foggy, I let myself be tired.